This is NOT a review of the Chateau Lafayette Nile cruiser.
Click the pictures to see the big versions.
This is a scene in Calle de Gran Via. There is a lot of traffic, but where it was hiding while I took this, I do not know.
Another impressive building, with what I suspect is a modern addition on the top.
This is the Town Hall, I think. I rather liked the “Refugees Welcome” sign on it.
I‘ve no idea what this building is, sorry. It has a sort of anonymous, Ministry of Certain Things, look to it.
The central parts of the city have a very pleasant, well kept, feel to them.
This is the main library and museum, which we visited another day.
The city has quite a lot of public art, including this stunning bronze frog.
In case you can’t tell whose fat neck and bald patch these are, it’s
Gideon George Osborne.
Not a very convincing attempt to comb the hair at the front back over it.
Here, however, is the current World Combover Champion.
He sports a parting on each side, from which the hair above is swept up, forward, back… it’s probably about ten feet long.
I am getting rather annoyed at the way some people out there are using what they imagine to be humour to attempt to attack me. For instance, here is
something somebody has done, when they should have been working hard, which takes one of my jolly important speeches, and uses it in a sort of comic.
When I said that, I was clearly not wanting people to realise that it meant that we would be actively intolerant. Intolerant of crime, intolerant of the causes of crime, to quote my good friend Tory Blair. It’s really unfair when the stuff my speech-writers invent is taken to be the policy of our totally united party, with its enormous majority of four.
We are going to make prudent
cuts reforms to all sorts of wasteful spending like pensions and benefits, whether you obey the law or not, and I will not tolerate these unpleasant attacks. Active intolerance is going to get you, if you dare criticise us!
I have visited Nicola Sturgeon in Scotland, as a reward for destroying the Labour vote there. I am showing my commitment to a UK that includes Scotland, by promising them many new powers that will let them feel as if they
have achieved something. I have already vowed to promise to make a pledge to put something or other in the Queen’s Speech about this. I can promise my own people that I will have anything we don’t like removed from the internet as soon as we feel like it. Playing people off against each other for my own benefit shows what a superior statesman I am, and why I continue to be trusted.
Meanwhile, I have found a book labelled “Bastards” in a cupboard in one of the many kitchens at my house in Downing Street. I shall write the name of Mr
David Davis in it, as it appears he thinks he has the right to attack my decision to abolish Human Rights. Worse still, he is hinting that taking away peoples’ rights and replacing them with vaguely worded promises, vows, and pledges is likely to prove divisive. By that, he probably means that he should have been leader, instead of me, so that he could unite our party. Unless he can split away a huge number of my MPs, as many as three or four, he will not be able to prevent us ramming any change we like through.
My friend Mr Kim Jong Un has recently had his defence minister shot with an anti-aircraft gun. Members of my party who are not feeling at least 100% faithful would do well to remember Britain probably still has a gun, too.
I am going to have to start using my active intolerance™ much sooner than I had expected,as it has emerged that some of my MPs think they can argue with me about my policies. Back benchers have been talking to something called the Belfast Telegraph, which I will not tolerate.
One Conservative backbencher said plans were “legally incoherent” and predicted Mr Cameron would face a Commons defeat if he attempted to make anything more than cosmetic changes to the current laws.
“If what emerges is a lot of sound and fury but no attempt to fiddle with fundamental rights as set down by the Convention then what we have is the Human Rights Act in all but name and that will be fine,” they said.
“But if there is any fundamental attempt to move away from that position then it will be dead in the water. Any such proposals will be torn to shreds by people like Dominic Grieve and many others who actually understand how our constitution works.”
I am now going to have to find out which of my MPs have been talking to newspapers without permission, and undermining my entirely reasonable plans.
In the meantime, I have asked George to announce all sorts of proposals, in order to take attention away from the Human Rights Act, so I can get rid of it when nobody is looking. He came back from the bathroom grinning, and announced a bold plan to stop us needing to finance English cities, by making them responsible for local transport, housing, planning, policing and public health. These are all things they can feel proud they are managing for themselves, and we won’t need to finance them any more.
It is certainly good to have George on the team, and not briefing against me to the press, like the sneaky back benchers, that I shall be sorting out soon.
Now that my government is all powerful, and will do whatever we want, forever, I am an even more Dear Leader than Kim Jong Un, and have asked my web team to produce a suitably powerful new header for this Diary. You are instructed to like it at once, or there will be trouble.
Enough of that for now. I should not have had to tell you the correct things to think in the first place. See that you do not continue to wrong-think.