Hot weather, ever more frequently. You need one of those drinks with electrolytes in, but they cost a lot. Don’t worry, you can make your own! This recipe is cheap, easy, and likely to be fatal…
Obviously, the main ingredient you need to find will be some electrolytes. You can get them from electrolytic capacitors. Old ones that have blown will be most suitable for this recipe. They have the best flavour. Or you can buy cheap batches of them on online market places, who would rather I didn’t mention them.
Ingredients
A pound of electrolytic capacitors
A quart of battery acid
Juice of a lime
Fresh water from a stream
Method
Blend the capacitors in a blender, until they are totally blended. You will need to do this for a couple of hours at least, to get the best texture.
Boil up the electrolytics in the battery acid, until just before the bottom of the pan dissolves away. A breathing aparatus set is recommended while you do this.
Dilute the resulting dangerous poison with stream water until it is safe. A few million gallons should suffice.
Drink the lime juice.
Throw the rest away, and never, ever rely on recipes scraped from the internet.